








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Grail | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 63 | 19% |
| Smokes | 33 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 127 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $27,981 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | up | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Aimless | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | T-Diddy | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Baby Thrower | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | T SWIZZ04 | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Baby Thrower | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | T SWIZZ04 | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | Roundsz30 | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Breadophile | 33% | 24 |
| #8 | Drizzle | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | 10 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | T SWIZZ04 | 8 | 0.0678 |
| #3 | Drizzle | 7 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | Breadophile | 6 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | Baby Thrower | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadophile | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | T-Diddy | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | Drizzle | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | T SWIZZ04 | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | up | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | up | +6.01 | 68 | 59 |
| #2 | T-Diddy | +3.43 | 36 | 32 |
| #3 | T SWIZZ04 | +3.34 | 26 | 38 |
| #4 | Breadophile | +1.12 | 26 | 35 |
| #5 | Roundsz30 | -1.28 | 20 | 44 |





