








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 43% |
| Smokes | 160 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 199 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 286 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,895 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | 49% | 127 |
| #2 | Charles Higgelmorf | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Breadophile | 41% | 37 |
| #4 | majorlax14 | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | Drizzle | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Breadophile | 41% | 37 |
| #4 | majorlax14 | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | Drizzle | 40% | 58 |
| #6 | Baby Thrower | 39% | 31 |
| #7 | Roundsz30 | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | 43 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Roundsz30 | 10 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Drizzle | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | majorlax14 | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Baby Thrower | 5 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Breadophile | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Drizzle | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Roundsz30 | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | majorlax14 | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | +3.72 | 54 | 29 |
| #2 | Aimless | -0.66 | 19 | 24 |
| #3 | Roundsz30 | -1.14 | 36 | 28 |
| #4 | Baby Thrower | -1.53 | 66 | 21 |
| #5 | Breadophile | -2.10 | 36 | 29 |





