








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




138 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 445 | 12% |
| Smokes | 204 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2291 | 63% |
| Molotovs | 682 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,571 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | up | 49% | 47 |
| #2 | Aimless | 49% | 127 |
| #3 | Breadophile | 46% | 69 |
| #4 | Charles Higgelmorf | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Drizzle | 44% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Charles Higgelmorf | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Drizzle | 44% | 164 |
| #6 | Baby Thrower | 41% | 81 |
| #7 | Roundsz30 | 38% | 79 |
| #8 | jakobfrancis94 | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drizzle | 41 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Roundsz30 | 21 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | Aimless | 16 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | jakobfrancis94 | 13 | 0.0308 |
| #5 | Breadophile | 10 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadophile | 124 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Drizzle | 72 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | up | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aimless | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Roundsz30 | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | +2.83 | 45 | 28 |
| #2 | up | +2.61 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | jakobfrancis94 | +0.12 | 81 | 38 |
| #4 | Breadophile | -0.71 | 36 | 35 |
| #5 | Roundsz30 | -0.86 | 39 | 26 |





