








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 49 | 11% |
| Smokes | 45 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 140 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,990 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charles Higgelmorf | 41% | 34 |
| #2 | T-Diddy | 41% | 81 |
| #3 | up | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | Aimless | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | Drizzle | 34% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Drizzle | 34% | 73 |
| #6 | T SWIZZ04 | 33% | 9 |
| #7 | jakobfrancis94 | 33% | 36 |
| #8 | Breadophile | 32% | 74 |
| #9 | Roundsz30 | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Diddy | 24 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | jakobfrancis94 | 19 | 0.0280 |
| #3 | Drizzle | 11 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | T SWIZZ04 | 9 | 0.0726 |
| #5 | Breadophile | 7 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadophile | 80 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | jakobfrancis94 | 48 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | up | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Drizzle | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | T-Diddy | 17 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | up | +3.78 | 52 | 40 |
| #2 | T-Diddy | +3.00 | 48 | 28 |
| #3 | jakobfrancis94 | +1.46 | 80 | 35 |
| #4 | T SWIZZ04 | +1.23 | 38 | 25 |
| #5 | Roundsz30 | +0.36 | 37 | 30 |





