








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 29% |
| Smokes | 150 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 443 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,412 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teach | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | caveman | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | GRIZZ | 51% | 61 |
| #4 | P✪ | 51% | 99 |
| #5 | BustinGatzOnGod | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | P✪ | 51% | 99 |
| #5 | BustinGatzOnGod | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Super Bowler | 49% | 126 |
| #7 | HARDCOREstaircase | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | American Crow | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | GRIZZ | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | BustinGatzOnGod | 9 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | P✪ | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | caveman | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 502 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | P✪ | 310 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | GRIZZ | 291 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | caveman | 184 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | teach | 181 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | +4.34 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | GRIZZ | +3.94 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | P✪ | +3.81 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | caveman | +1.89 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | BustinGatzOnGod | +0.88 | 66 | 55 |





