








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 713 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5943 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4977 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1949 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,105,848 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :/ | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | teach | 56% | 162 |
| #3 | GRIZZ | 54% | 128 |
| #4 | caveman | 52% | 232 |
| #5 | Super Bowler | 51% | 434 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 32 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | HARDCOREstaircase | 15 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | GRIZZ | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | teach | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | S1K | 8 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 1627 | 0.19 | 41 min |
| #2 | GRIZZ | 560 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | caveman | 474 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | teach | 430 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | HARDCOREstaircase | 237 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | +2.52 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | P✪ | +1.90 | 78 | 53 |
| #3 | :/ | +1.37 | 76 | 46 |
| #4 | GRIZZ | +1.36 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | teach | -0.49 | 56 | 46 |





