








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4604 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1777 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2648 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2471 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,233 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | BustinGatzOnGod | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | P✪ | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | S1K | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | :/ | 8 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 736 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | P✪ | 391 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | caveman | 180 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | BustinGatzOnGod | 165 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | teach | 109 | 0.13 | 2 min |





