








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 710 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7145 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7162 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4346 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3608 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,702,159 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :/ | 57% | 75 |
| #2 | teach | 56% | 209 |
| #3 | caveman | 52% | 293 |
| #4 | GRIZZ | 51% | 187 |
| #5 | P✪ | 51% | 434 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARDCOREstaircase | 33 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | P✪ | 24 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | GRIZZ | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | teach | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | BustinGatzOnGod | 13 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P✪ | 1211 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #2 | GRIZZ | 833 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #3 | caveman | 669 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | teach | 561 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | HARDCOREstaircase | 363 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | +2.85 | 70 | 58 |
| #2 | P✪ | +1.81 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | :/ | +1.49 | 75 | 43 |
| #4 | GRIZZ | +1.29 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | caveman | -0.07 | 58 | 55 |





