








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 24% |
| Smokes | 436 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 686 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 403 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,225 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itzloki | 39% | 95 |
| #2 | Lunatic | 37% | 124 |
| #3 | McLovin | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | Thecrazykorean | 35% | 20 |
| #5 | Sk28 | 32% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sk28 | 20 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Lunatic | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | z1n | 10 | 0.0223 |
| #4 | Itzloki | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | McLovin | 5 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunatic | 336 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | z1n | 97 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sk28 | 85 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Itzloki | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Thecrazykorean | 67 | 0.19 | 2 min |





