








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




197 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7494 | 50% |
| Smokes | 3471 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2106 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,671,511 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben. | 64% | 137 |
| #2 | Metoxen | 45% | 120 |
| #3 | McLovin | 42% | 89 |
| #4 | Lunatic | 42% | 106 |
| #5 | Sk28 | 34% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Metoxen | 45% | 120 |
| #3 | McLovin | 42% | 89 |
| #4 | Lunatic | 42% | 106 |
| #5 | Sk28 | 34% | 77 |
| #6 | Itzloki | 27% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben. | 29 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Metoxen | 29 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Lunatic | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | McLovin | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Sk28 | 7 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metoxen | 467 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ben. | 371 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lunatic | 315 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | McLovin | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sk28 | 62 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben. | +6.98 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Lunatic | +0.98 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | Metoxen | +0.96 | 64 | 36 |
| #4 | Sk28 | -0.60 | 16 | 26 |
| #5 | McLovin | -0.60 | 56 | 58 |





