








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1477 | 38% |
| Smokes | 929 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 613 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,397 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kukkonen | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Dr. Edger | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Kurjen Jimmy | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Purtsi_ | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | fella | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kurjen Jimmy | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Purtsi_ | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | fella | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | CarlonJumala | 30% | 10 |
| #7 | AQ | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 97 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kurjen Jimmy | 77 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kukkonen | 67 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | CarlonJumala | 66 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | AQ | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AQ | +2.07 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Kukkonen | +1.80 | 79 | 81 |
| #3 | Big Pipe | +1.68 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Dr. Edger | +0.90 | 72 | 77 |
| #5 | CarlonJumala | -0.29 | 69 | 85 |





