








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 899 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4439 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3646 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3014 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3367 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,649 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaFy | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | moneyCriminal | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | Kartturi | 58% | 126 |
| #4 | Marko | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Purtsi_ | 55% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Marko | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Purtsi_ | 55% | 169 |
| #6 | AQ | 54% | 50 |
| #7 | The Haunted One | 53% | 58 |
| #8 | sibe | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purtsi_ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Kartturi | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | sibe | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MaFy | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | The Haunted One | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purtsi_ | 414 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kartturi | 366 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | The Haunted One | 226 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | sibe | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | AQ | 125 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AQ | +2.07 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | MaFy | +0.98 | 89 | 51 |
| #3 | moneyCriminal | +0.93 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | sibe | +0.77 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | CarlonJumala | +0.69 | 69 | 78 |





