








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2940 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2403 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2292 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1935 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,007 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1cey | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | 170LBSLEAN | 64% | 83 |
| #3 | Phantom | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | butter | 61% | 144 |
| #5 | Deathspark | 59% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 170LBSLEAN | 64% | 83 |
| #3 | Phantom | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | butter | 61% | 144 |
| #5 | Deathspark | 59% | 61 |
| #6 | KsaR | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | butter | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | 170LBSLEAN | 14 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | 1cey | 12 | 0.0175 |
| #4 | Deathspark | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Phantom | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 170LBSLEAN | 177 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Deathspark | 174 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | butter | 152 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Phantom | 123 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | 1cey | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitchell | +5.37 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | KsaR | +1.62 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | Deathspark | +1.12 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | Phantom | +0.42 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | 170LBSLEAN | +0.08 | 72 | 58 |





