










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4635 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2021 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4389 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3406 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,118 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 736 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathspark | 65% | 69 |
| #2 | mitchell | 64% | 83 |
| #3 | flavor | 61% | 72 |
| #4 | Phantom | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | butter | 56% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flavor | 24 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | mitchell | 22 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | 1cey | 20 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | butter | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Deathspark | 8 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitchell | 342 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | flavor | 311 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | butter | 209 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Deathspark | 172 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | 1cey | 141 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitchell | +4.11 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | flavor | +3.26 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | KsaR | +3.17 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | 170LBSLEAN | +1.62 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | Deathspark | +1.27 | 67 | 59 |





