








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1045 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,867 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8369 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7420 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6763 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6742 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,034,462 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nexianz | 69% | 62 |
| #2 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 65% | 66 |
| #3 | jhonny skygge | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | Andy | 55% | 263 |
| #5 | sjif-fis | 49% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 65% | 66 |
| #3 | jhonny skygge | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | Andy | 55% | 263 |
| #5 | sjif-fis | 49% | 162 |
| #6 | stew | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 22 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | jhonny skygge | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | sjif-fis | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | stew | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 238 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | jhonny skygge | 194 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | sjif-fis | 192 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | stew | 175 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | nexianz | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nexianz | +3.13 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | +1.81 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | stew | +1.65 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Me2 | +1.51 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | jhonny skygge | -0.53 | 44 | 55 |





