








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,719 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1189 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1414 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 885 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,498,648 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nexianz | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | jhonny skygge | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | Eskipop | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Me2 | 49% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | jhonny skygge | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | Eskipop | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Me2 | 49% | 162 |
| #6 | Andy | 45% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhonny skygge | 28 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Me2 | 22 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Andy | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Eskipop | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me2 | 446 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | jhonny skygge | 240 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Andy | 101 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eskipop | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | nexianz | 49 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | +3.84 | 70 | 58 |
| #2 | nexianz | +3.60 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | Me2 | +2.35 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | jhonny skygge | +0.95 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | Eskipop | +0.12 | 71 | 40 |





