








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1963 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2172 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2949 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2413 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,977 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 786 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Eskipop | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | The big mama | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Nsanzimana Elie | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Me2 | 55% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Me2 | 55% | 82 |
| #6 | sjif-fis | 54% | 108 |
| #7 | Andy | 53% | 97 |
| #8 | Kenny$ | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | Selje | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjif-fis | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Andy | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Eskipop | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Me2 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Nsanzimana Elie | 4 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me2 | 231 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | sjif-fis | 121 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Eskipop | 80 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Andy | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXMUGGENOSTXx984 | +4.19 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Me2 | +2.85 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Nsanzimana Elie | +2.63 | 39 | 56 |
| #4 | jhonny skygge | +0.74 | 46 | 55 |
| #5 | Andy | +0.56 | 55 | 48 |





