








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8960 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7050 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5662 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5788 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,773 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azret | 50% | 117 |
| #2 | MrK | 49% | 123 |
| #3 | Me2 | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | Mikilajelo | 45% | 267 |
| #5 | Vo1n_dr4kona | 43% | 311 |





