








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6546 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5849 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4034 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3972 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,428 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toxinatoR! | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | c0ld m1lk | 65% | 168 |
| #3 | cJm[dodealers][tirtytree] | 63% | 92 |
| #4 | jarrod | 60% | 164 |
| #5 | rymo | 58% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jarrod | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | rymo | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | c0ld m1lk | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | n4yrb | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | cJm[dodealers][tirtytree] | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0ld m1lk | 823 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #2 | jarrod | 243 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | cJm[dodealers][tirtytree] | 238 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | n4yrb | 170 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | rymo | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0ld m1lk | +4.05 | 87 | 82 |
| #2 | toxinatoR! | +2.20 | 77 | 80 |
| #3 | rymo | +1.06 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | n4yrb | +0.82 | 89 | 76 |
| #5 | jarrod | +0.72 | 57 | 60 |





