








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2867 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3471 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2810 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2345 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,697 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0ld m1lk | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | rymo | 51% | 183 |
| #3 | toxinatoR! | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | okclake | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | jarrod | 49% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jarrod | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | rymo | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | dip ship | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | toxinatoR! | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | c0ld m1lk | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rymo | 369 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | c0ld m1lk | 343 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | jarrod | 335 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | dip ship | 284 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | cJm[dodealers][tirtytree] | 235 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0ld m1lk | +3.79 | 88 | 82 |
| #2 | rymo | +1.02 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | jarrod | +0.62 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | toxinatoR! | +0.43 | 80 | 83 |
| #5 | n4yrb | +0.35 | 90 | 77 |





