










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 902 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3842 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8186 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 8028 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4820 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,710,092 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1679 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGoatfather | 54% | 179 |
| #2 | Ethoax | 51% | 113 |
| #3 | Purrløg ಠ_ಠ | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | Gilje | 49% | 124 |
| #5 | thice | 49% | 307 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | thice | 49% | 307 |
| #6 | Guddgrid | 47% | 142 |
| #7 | Donzimo | 46% | 326 |
| #8 | Espeland | 38% | 65 |
| #9 | vitamin | 37% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donzimo | 20 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | thice | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Espeland | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | TheGoatfather | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Gilje | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thice | 1084 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | Donzimo | 927 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #3 | TheGoatfather | 385 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Guddgrid | 361 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ethoax | 179 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | +4.57 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Guddgrid | +1.05 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | Gilje | +0.86 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | Donzimo | +0.27 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | bwingen | +0.25 | 53 | 50 |





