










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 653 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8569 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9743 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6945 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6964 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,397 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thice | 49% | 128 |
| #2 | Gilje | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | bwingen | 46% | 326 |
| #4 | TheGoatfather | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | Espeland | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gilje | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | bwingen | 46% | 326 |
| #4 | TheGoatfather | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | Espeland | 46% | 35 |
| #6 | Guddgrid | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwingen | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | thice | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Espeland | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Gilje | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | TheGoatfather | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thice | 436 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | bwingen | 353 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | TheGoatfather | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Guddgrid | 136 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Espeland | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | +3.89 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Gilje | +0.56 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | Donzimo | +0.30 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | bwingen | -0.12 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | thice | -0.51 | 44 | 64 |





