








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,689 | |
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2080 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2606 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2627 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,081 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGoatfather | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | thice | 51% | 146 |
| #3 | Ethoax | 51% | 49 |
| #4 | bwingen | 49% | 124 |
| #5 | Donzimo | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | bwingen | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ethoax | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Guddgrid | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | thice | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thice | 412 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Guddgrid | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Espeland | 204 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Donzimo | 151 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | bwingen | 130 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | +3.88 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Gilje | +0.95 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | Guddgrid | +0.73 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | Donzimo | +0.69 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | Ethoax | -0.52 | 42 | 45 |





