








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Esplay | 17 matches | 1,559 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6579 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6412 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5385 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4523 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,763 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | TheGoatfather | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | Gilje | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | Cazpinator | 51% | 75 |
| #5 | Guddgrid | 50% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Donzimo | 49% | 128 |
| #7 | bwingen | 49% | 307 |
| #8 | Espeland | 43% | 86 |
| #9 | Purrløg ಠ_ಠ | 43% | 80 |
| #10 | Ethoax | 38% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwingen | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Espeland | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Guddgrid | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Donzimo | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Ethoax | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guddgrid | 356 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Donzimo | 340 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | bwingen | 311 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Espeland | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheGoatfather | 188 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | +6.34 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Espeland | +5.14 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | Guddgrid | +1.74 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | Gilje | +0.66 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Donzimo | +0.59 | 71 | 67 |





