








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3302 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3742 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3274 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3421 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,952 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | TheGoatfather | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | eLa2k | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | thice | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | Purrløg ಠ_ಠ | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Purrløg ಠ_ಠ | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | Gilje | 48% | 79 |
| #7 | bwingen | 47% | 142 |
| #8 | Espeland | 40% | 52 |
| #9 | Donzimo | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thice | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | TheGoatfather | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Espeland | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | bwingen | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Gilje | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thice | 508 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | TheGoatfather | 233 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Donzimo | 140 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Espeland | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | bwingen | 125 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Espeland | +4.92 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Espeland | +3.66 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Guddgrid | +0.79 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | Donzimo | +0.64 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Gilje | -0.21 | 68 | 57 |





