








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2894 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 824 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18137 | 42% |
| Smokes | 10248 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7928 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7037 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,517,398 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Le_Brotato | 50% | 414 |
| #9 | nayml1s | 49% | 85 |
| #10 | Dark | 48% | 120 |
| #11 | F 1 R E | 46% | 129 |
| #12 | andYw0w~ | 45% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le_Brotato | 30 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Dark | 18 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | aspw0w | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | F 1 R E | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | andYw0w~ | 7 | 0.0016 |





