








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 575 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6042 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2468 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5458 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2621 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,339,227 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | 55% | 95 |
| #2 | Remmy | 51% | 147 |
| #3 | 80ziger Ochsen | 51% | 168 |
| #4 | meisenb | 50% | 119 |
| #5 | There are only 2 genders | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | meisenb | 50% | 119 |
| #5 | There are only 2 genders | 50% | 64 |
| #6 | SmollDwagun | 48% | 79 |
| #7 | PUMA D KINQ | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | NoKXeN | 42% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | 23 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | meisenb | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Remmy | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | There are only 2 genders | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | 80ziger Ochsen | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remmy | 488 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | meisenb | 431 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | SmollDwagun | 356 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | 80ziger Ochsen | 281 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Clx | 253 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | +4.70 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | There are only 2 genders | +4.01 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | meisenb | +1.79 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | NoKXeN | +0.55 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | PUMA D KINQ | +0.48 | 46 | 64 |





