








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4474 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1760 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 5068 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,154 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lakayayayayayay | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | There are only 2 genders | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | HackerClan™ | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | NoKXeN | 53% | 100 |
| #5 | BOSS | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | lonski | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | meisenb | 46% | 295 |
| #10 | Pray.- | 45% | 89 |
| #11 | Remmy | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | Clx | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meisenb | 31 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Clx | 22 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | There are only 2 genders | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | MajesticBTW:/ | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | NoKXeN | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meisenb | 1146 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | MajesticBTW:/ | 326 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Clx | 287 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | PUMA D KINQ | 255 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | There are only 2 genders | 151 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | There are only 2 genders | +3.24 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Clx | +2.64 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | meisenb | +1.01 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | HackerClan™ | +0.49 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | NoKXeN | +0.33 | 76 | 56 |





