








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6912 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7955 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5208 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6285 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,517 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akadie | 55% | 86 |
| #2 | ukulelehoe | 53% | 113 |
| #3 | MajesticBTW:/ | 51% | 147 |
| #4 | Clx | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | meisenb | 48% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ukulelehoe | 53% | 113 |
| #3 | MajesticBTW:/ | 51% | 147 |
| #4 | Clx | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | meisenb | 48% | 93 |
| #6 | NoKXeN | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | 20 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Akadie | 15 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | MajesticBTW:/ | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | meisenb | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | ukulelehoe | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MajesticBTW:/ | 524 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Clx | 406 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | meisenb | 348 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Akadie | 206 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | ukulelehoe | 191 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | +3.43 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | meisenb | +1.56 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | NoKXeN | +0.29 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Remmy | -0.19 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | ukulelehoe | -0.29 | 69 | 56 |





