








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 607 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8667 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5071 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6497 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4017 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,046 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HackerClan™ | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | NoKXeN | 51% | 185 |
| #3 | MajesticBTW:/ | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | Clx | 49% | 239 |
| #5 | BOSS | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pray.- | 49% | 109 |
| #7 | Remmy | 48% | 93 |
| #8 | PUMA D KINQ | 48% | 106 |
| #9 | ¥ Ɖᴏᴍ | 47% | 34 |
| #10 | SmollDwagun | 46% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | 29 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | MajesticBTW:/ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Remmy | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | NoKXeN | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | SmollDwagun | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | 344 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | SmollDwagun | 296 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | MajesticBTW:/ | 269 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Remmy | 93 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | NoKXeN | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clx | +2.40 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | BOSS | +0.61 | 70 | 76 |
| #3 | meisenb | +0.32 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | NoKXeN | +0.25 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Pray.- | +0.00 | 47 | 58 |





