








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8134 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6793 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4653 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4494 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,219,446 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | eadee | 45% | 97 |
| #7 | Cleb | 45% | 155 |
| #8 | artie | 44% | 59 |
| #9 | Houlles | 40% | 43 |
| #10 | Flamephoenix | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latvija100 | 81 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Cleb | 29 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | bazsy | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | eadee | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | CreativeGenie | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latvija100 | 868 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Cleb | 298 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | CreativeGenie | 288 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | artie | 245 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | eadee | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |





