








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2545 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1181 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 5461 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4684 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,964 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1048 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GengA | 64% | 132 |
| #8 | Frosted Shakes | 64% | 102 |
| #9 | heaven | 61% | 133 |
| #10 | st1ch | 59% | 34 |
| #11 | Mulppy | 57% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heaven | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | GengA | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | sack toucher | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Frosted Shakes | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frosted Shakes | 424 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | heaven | 404 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kolalabatch | 243 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | GengA | 238 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mulppy | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | +4.18 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | JUstICEY | +3.43 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Frosted Shakes | +1.69 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | Kolalabatch | +1.60 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | heaven | +1.12 | 81 | 66 |





