








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2938 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3087 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1661 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2749 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,339 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 972 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slimmote | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Perc Wazowski | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | Grinch | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | ButteredNipples | 53% | 128 |
| #5 | we officially bussin | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slimmote | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Perc Wazowski | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | Grinch | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | ButteredNipples | 53% | 128 |
| #5 | we officially bussin | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grinch | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ButteredNipples | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Perc Wazowski | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | we officially bussin | 6 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grinch | 547 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | ButteredNipples | 122 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Perc Wazowski | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | we officially bussin | 100 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | slimmote | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Lover | +1.64 | 72 | 45 |
| #2 | we officially bussin | +0.52 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Perc Wazowski | +0.46 | 57 | 56 |
| #4 | slimmote | +0.12 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | Grinch | -0.19 | 49 | 52 |





