








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Wingman | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2260 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4505 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4179 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,677,935 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 747 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | 58% | 95 |
| #2 | Adolf hee-heetler | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Anja mogger | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | skähkás | 50% | 300 |
| #5 | touchkids32 | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | skähkás | 50% | 300 |
| #5 | touchkids32 | 46% | 67 |
| #6 | Kalastaja | 45% | 110 |
| #7 | albinoholmquisto | 45% | 116 |
| #8 | Dream girl wallahi | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skähkás | 97 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | Kalastaja | 77 | 0.0323 |
| #3 | touchkids32 | 46 | 0.0315 |
| #4 | albinoholmquisto | 19 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Anja mogger | 16 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skähkás | 488 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kalastaja | 283 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | 155 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | albinoholmquisto | 110 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | touchkids32 | 84 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | +2.24 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | uwu kitten | +1.84 | 64 | 35 |
| #3 | Anja mogger | +0.83 | 58 | 21 |
| #4 | skähkás | +0.41 | 67 | 43 |
| #5 | Adolf hee-heetler | -0.15 | 54 | 47 |





