








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1744 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 879 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1200 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,558 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asdeep Dikshit | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | 55% | 104 |
| #3 | albinoholmquisto | 48% | 44 |
| #4 | Lusislav | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | uwu kitten | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwu kitten | 26 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | skähkás | 24 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | albinoholmquisto | 9 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Lusislav | 7 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | uwu kitten | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | skähkás | 122 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lusislav | 72 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | albinoholmquisto | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asdeep Dikshit | +9.28 | 96 | 42 |
| #2 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | +2.02 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | uwu kitten | +1.98 | 60 | 38 |
| #4 | skähkás | +0.92 | 66 | 43 |
| #5 | Anja mogger | +0.45 | 61 | 16 |





