








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Wingman | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4586 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2119 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2526 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1916 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,857,063 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 681 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparven | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | blå knox peek | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | baby | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | Anja mogger | 51% | 103 |
| #5 | Abdulmalik Al-Qahtani Bin Faisal | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | touchkids32 | 93 | 0.0296 |
| #2 | uwu kitten | 75 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Kalastaja | 52 | 0.0348 |
| #4 | Adolf hee-heetler | 21 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Anja mogger | 15 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blå knox peek | +3.27 | 79 | 5 |
| #2 | uwu kitten | +1.71 | 62 | 39 |
| #3 | skähkás | +1.56 | 72 | 44 |
| #4 | Per Gessle (den avdankade) | +1.51 | 82 | 57 |
| #5 | Adolf hee-heetler | +0.81 | 56 | 45 |





