








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5927 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4408 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3672 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $956,219 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | richardlized111 | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | danielchristensson666 | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | nnis | 54% | 59 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/eunoiacsgo | 48% | 33 |
| #6 | Abaddon | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danielchristensson666 | 18 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | richardlized111 | 11 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/eunoiacsgo | 7 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | nnis | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Abaddon | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danielchristensson666 | 209 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Abaddon | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | twitch.tv/eunoiacsgo | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | richardlized111 | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | nnis | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |





