








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,991 | |
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5279 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4507 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4067 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4526 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,072 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | flippeh | 62% | 58 |
| #8 | richardlized111 | 60% | 163 |
| #9 | joshed | 59% | 51 |
| 59% | 29 | ||
| #11 | Sunny | 55% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | 493 | 0.40 | 15 min |
| #2 | richardlized111 | 316 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Dytto | 252 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | StampexxD // tokyo ghoul | 227 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | sunny.com | 218 | 0.40 | 6 min |





