








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 49 | 11% |
| Smokes | 102 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,553 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | OlafOfDoom | 67% | 6 |
| #6 | Weed Warrior | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | Dobby Deagleson | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | BravoFratello | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Retsu | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Dobby Deagleson | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | OlafOfDoom | 1 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Retsu | 1 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Lopyyyyyy. | 1 | 0.0167 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BravoFratello | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Dobby Deagleson | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Olaf | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Belia | 23 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Weed Warrior | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olaf | +3.80 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | BravoFratello | +3.13 | 95 | 68 |
| #3 | Rorona | +1.07 | 91 | 30 |
| #4 | OlafOfDoom | +0.66 | 68 | 47 |
| #5 | Lopyyyyyy. | +0.36 | 88 | 48 |





