








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5189 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2830 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5336 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2794 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,129,160 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobby Deagleson | 55% | 85 |
| #2 | OlafOfDoom | 55% | 196 |
| #3 | Retsu | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | .jNk^ | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Weed Warrior | 51% | 375 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Retsu | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | .jNk^ | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Weed Warrior | 51% | 375 |
| #6 | Lopyyyyyy. | 50% | 76 |
| #7 | Joe | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 58 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | OlafOfDoom | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Retsu | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Dobby Deagleson | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Lopyyyyyy. | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 637 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | OlafOfDoom | 505 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Dobby Deagleson | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | .jNk^ | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lopyyyyyy. | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BravoFratello | +2.69 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | Retsu | +0.86 | 78 | 32 |
| #3 | OlafOfDoom | +0.63 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Lopyyyyyy. | +0.11 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Weed Warrior | -0.71 | 69 | 45 |





