








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1279 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1957 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1919 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1740 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,704 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobby Deagleson | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | BravoFratello | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Mort | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Weed Warrior | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | Yaster Moda | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lopyyyyyy. | 41% | 71 |
| #10 | Fudel | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | Invalid | 31% | 16 |
| #12 | .jNk^ | 28% | 18 |
| #13 | Phil osophisch Angehaucht | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OlafOfDoom | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Weed Warrior | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Lopyyyyyy. | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | kk | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Mort | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OlafOfDoom | 476 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Lopyyyyyy. | 139 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yaster Moda | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | kk | 108 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Weed Warrior | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mort | +4.49 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | BravoFratello | +4.19 | 92 | 60 |
| #3 | Invalid | +4.17 | 90 | 66 |
| #4 | Yaster Moda | +3.27 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | OlafOfDoom | +2.41 | 79 | 65 |





