








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2021 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2195 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1450 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,422 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olaf | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Belia | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Mort | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Joe | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | BravoFratello | 55% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | BravoFratello | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | OlafOfDoom | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Retsu | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Joe | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OlafOfDoom | 393 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Weed Warrior | 287 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | BravoFratello | 227 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Belia | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Olaf | 59 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BravoFratello | +4.27 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | Joe | +3.44 | 88 | 34 |
| #3 | Rorona | +2.60 | 92 | 27 |
| #4 | OlafOfDoom | +2.45 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | Mort | +1.85 | 81 | 65 |





