








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 305 | 25% |
| Smokes | 266 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 372 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,267 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILiftMyMouse | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Lopyyyyyy. | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | One Tepy | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Weed Warrior | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | BravoFratello | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 21 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | BravoFratello | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Dobby Deagleson | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | OlafOfDoom | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Rorona | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BravoFratello | 120 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | OlafOfDoom | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dobby Deagleson | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Weed Warrior | 81 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yaster Moda | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILiftMyMouse | +5.33 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | Yaster Moda | +4.12 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | BravoFratello | +3.52 | 92 | 63 |
| #4 | OlafOfDoom | +1.72 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | Lopyyyyyy. | +1.64 | 80 | 66 |





