








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 354 | 29% |
| Smokes | 134 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 400 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,221 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nightmare | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Sauf une fois au chalet | 44% | 61 |
| #3 | charlesouel37 | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | WonkaTruck | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | Johnny Sins | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | WonkaTruck | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | Johnny Sins | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Sal Vulcano | 32% | 34 |
| #7 | SLARO | 30% | 23 |
| #8 | ImRickus | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLARO | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Sauf une fois au chalet | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | WonkaTruck | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Johnny Sins | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Sal Vulcano | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLARO | 44 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sauf une fois au chalet | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | WonkaTruck | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ImRickus | 24 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Sal Vulcano | 17 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Sins | +2.92 | 53 | 27 |
| #2 | SLARO | +2.37 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | ImRickus | +2.13 | 46 | 51 |
| #4 | Sauf une fois au chalet | +1.83 | 64 | 35 |
| #5 | Nightmare | +1.67 | 65 | 55 |





