








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Wingman | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1186 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2636 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2076 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2391 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,232,364 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WonkaTruck | 57% | 282 |
| #2 | Worst_Nightmare | 51% | 118 |
| #3 | Nightmare | 51% | 65 |
| #4 | Sal Vulcano | 50% | 247 |
| #5 | Phromage | 49% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sal Vulcano | 50% | 247 |
| #5 | Phromage | 49% | 176 |
| #6 | Johnny Sins | 49% | 171 |
| #7 | SLARO | 47% | 215 |
| #8 | Merlin_Da_Wizurd | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLARO | 35 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Johnny Sins | 20 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Merlin_Da_Wizurd | 14 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Phromage | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Sal Vulcano | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLARO | 402 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Phromage | 293 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | WonkaTruck | 229 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sal Vulcano | 169 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Merlin_Da_Wizurd | 125 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nightmare | +2.67 | 68 | 46 |
| #2 | Worst_Nightmare | +2.35 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | SLARO | +2.25 | 76 | 49 |
| #4 | Johnny Sins | +2.16 | 60 | 35 |
| #5 | Sauf une fois au chalet | +1.33 | 67 | 27 |





