








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4905 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4824 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4332 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2479 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,192,769 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yankee doodl3 | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | M1kklo23 | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Deej | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | Alt Acc | 56% | 105 |
| #5 | πΏπππ | 54% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TimoVicious | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | FallenPrey | 46% | 39 |
| #12 | KHON | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | ΰΈΈΰΈΈΰΈΈBAREFOOTER | 41% | 66 |
| #14 | Ghost Buster | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LinemanLuke | 17 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | ΰΈΈΰΈΈΰΈΈBAREFOOTER | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | FallenPrey | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Alt Acc | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LinemanLuke | 470 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | KiDD_BEAST123 | 239 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | ΰΈΈΰΈΈΰΈΈBAREFOOTER | 207 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Alt Acc | 139 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | nex_muffin | 121 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1kklo23 | +4.27 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | Alt Acc | +2.94 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | Deej | +2.49 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | KHON | +1.16 | 83 | 74 |
| #5 | TimoVicious | +1.05 | 74 | 62 |





