








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1803 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1385 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1804 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1326 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,173 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MessiaHz | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | AnarchyDying | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | whoami? | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | kikn | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | JP.weezy | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kikn | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | JP.weezy | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | Ron Swanson | 58% | 26 |
| #7 | Gobbles | 55% | 49 |
| #8 | Kikn | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnarchyDying | 7 | 0.0239 |
| #2 | kikn | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Kikn | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Ron Swanson | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Gobbles | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gobbles | 115 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kikn | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | kikn | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ron Swanson | 81 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | whoami? | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Swanson | +1.80 | 48 | 63 |
| #2 | d!nk.'d ur d@d | +1.02 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | kikn | +0.68 | 52 | 65 |
| #4 | Kikn | +0.37 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | MessiaHz | -0.03 | 45 | 23 |





