








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6114 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4678 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7577 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4969 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,754,282 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MessiaHz | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | CoRRojin | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | d!nk. | 52% | 184 |
| #4 | d!nk.'d ur d@d | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Banana ☆ | 51% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ron Swanson | 602 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Gobbles | 572 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | d!nk. | 395 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | whoami? | 301 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Banana ☆ | 228 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Orion | +2.78 | 63 | 56 |
| #2 | Ron Swanson | +2.31 | 45 | 61 |
| #3 | d!nk. | +1.34 | 46 | 63 |
| #4 | Banana ☆ | +0.73 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | CoRRojin | +0.61 | 32 | 46 |





