










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 557 | 25% |
| Smokes | 740 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 386 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,192 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qu1ck | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | ♛ mikey ✪ | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | pico | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | naruto san- ♱ | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Lemmii37 | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor cYruss | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Lemmii37 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | naruto san- ♱ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | pico | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ♛ mikey ✪ | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemmii37 | 173 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | naruto san- ♱ | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Señor cYruss | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ◥◣ Bl4ck ◢◤ | 25 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | qu1ck | 16 | 0.13 | 0 min |





