








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1363 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2329 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2776 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2790 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,066,101 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1012 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ mikey ✪ | 68% | 78 |
| #2 | naruto san- ♱ | 55% | 472 |
| #3 | Señor Woofers | 54% | 330 |
| #4 | tiMm3 | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | Chill | 51% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chill | 51% | 95 |
| #6 | Lemmii37 | 47% | 200 |
| #7 | Señor cYruss | 47% | 250 |
| #8 | frØ.x ☕ | 47% | 45 |
| #9 | ◥◣ Bl4ck ◢◤ | 42% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naruto san- ♱ | 23 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Señor cYruss | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Lemmii37 | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Señor Woofers | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ♛ mikey ✪ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naruto san- ♱ | 1439 | 0.15 | 44 min |
| #2 | Señor Woofers | 796 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | Lemmii37 | 544 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Señor cYruss | 236 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | ♛ mikey ✪ | 172 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naruto san- ♱ | +9.01 | 89 | 82 |
| #2 | tiMm3 | +3.31 | 88 | 81 |
| #3 | ♛ mikey ✪ | +1.97 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | Señor Woofers | +1.54 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Lemmii37 | -0.60 | 56 | 76 |





